-----Original Message-----
From: Chris Leftwich <chris@fishhall.co.uk>
To: tyre@unity.ncsu.edu <tyre@unity.ncsu.edu>
Cc: Seafood email list <seafood.@ucdavis.edu>
Date: 24 January 2001 12:38
Subject: Re: The Emperor's 'New' Smoke
>This magical product has started to find its way into the UK. I have taken
>the matter up with our Food Standards Agency, who have in turn taken it up
>with a much higher authority than your emporer. They have taken it up with
>the "Great Commissioner" in Brussels. It is likely that it will ultimately
>be banned for import into the EU. The use of CO is not recognised as a
>permitted additive and the process is not a recognised one in the EU.
>On a serious note I am very concerned that this product does not lose
colour
>as it ages or if temperature abused. This could result in outbreaks of
>scombroid fish poisoning, which will not do the tuna trade many favours.
>Regards
>Chris Leftwich
>Chief Inspector, Fishmongers' Company, London
>-----Original Message-----
>From: Tyre Lanier <tyre@unity.ncsu.edu>
>To: seafood@ucdavis.edu <seafood@ucdavis.edu>
>Date: 23 January 2001 16:29
>Subject: The Emperor's 'New' Smoke
>
>
>>Not so far away, and not too long ago, there lived the mighty Emperor Hew
>>Hess Hay. The Emperor was known far and wide to be a bit of a glutton, as
>>well as a connoisseur of the finest foods. Whereas it might be commonly
>>said of a ruler, "he is presently in his council chamber", for this
>>emperor it was more likely reported "he is presently at repast".
>>
>>Of all the delicacies indulged in by the Emperor, his favorite was
seafood,
>>and he had a particular penchant for sashimi. But the royal treasury was
>>beginning to strain over his the steady stream of tuna imports from the
>>Tsukigi market. So imagine his delight when, one day, two unscrupulous
>>fishmongers arrived at court from the Western Isle. "Your Majesty," said
>>one of the fishmongers, "we have discovered a most magical process that
>>can turn $1.50 brown tuna into the most exquisitely delectable and
highest
>>quality sashimi."
>>
>>"How can this be?!!," exclaimed the Emperor, and his courtiers all
gathered
>>round as the merchants opened a small cooler. They revealed a beautiful
>>cherry red meat, so sweet appearing that a tingle rose up the emperor's
>>spine. "Sire, it is a magical tasteless smoking process conjured by our
>>associates in the Far East," they answered.
>>
>>"Ah, then you must at once begin to produce this tuna for me!" ordered the
>>Emperor, and with a flourish and a bow, the wiley fishmongers made their
>>exit to set up shop nearby.
>>
>>But a wise counselor of the emperor cautioned him to have the process
>>thoroughly investigated before ever a slice of "tasteless smoked" tuna
>>touched his lips.
>>"It is correct to be so careful of my health," said the emperor, and
>>therewith he sent forth his chief taster, Count Yus Deecee, to have a
>look.
>>
>>"You are most welcome to examine our process, O Count," said the crafty
>>merchants after they had wined and dined him that evening. "Observe, how
>>we remove the flavor elements of the smoke whilst the magical essence
>>permeates the filter to transform the tuna quality!" "Well goll-ee gee
>>whiz," thought the Count, "sure looks like shore-nuff magic to me."
>>
>>The emperor was of course delighted at the Count's good report, since it
>>certainly was what he wanted badly to hear. But the wise counselor
>>remained unconvinced, for this new process seemed just too good to be
true.
>>"Sire, I suggest that a woman is even more discerning than a man when it
>>comes to quality. May I humbly request a second opinion from the fair
Lady
>>Effie D'Yay?"
>>
>>"Well," grumbled the hungry monarch, "if you must have it so." So the
>>fair Lady was promptly dispatched to the fishmonger's shop to observe.
>>
>>"O Most High and Lifted Up Lady," purred the merchants upon her arrival,
>>"we are most honored to have you see our magic first hand." But first
>>please allow us to indulge you with an evening of entertainment and
>>frivolity."
>>
>>And of course this suited the Lady just fine, so that she was duly
>>indulged. Afterwards, the merchants again demonstrated their magical
>>filters to the now jaded Lady who, like the Count before her, also oohed
>>and aahed. After all, she was quite anxious that the Emperor be likewise
>>indulged in his desires for cheap but high quality tuna.
>>
>>So the 'magical' process was accepted without further question, and the
>>tuna thus processed became so popular at court that the palace began to
>>resemble a Tokyo sushi bar.
>>
>>Word of the new process swept the towns and villages. Excitement grew to
>>such a pitch that all the commoners pressed their lords for a chance to
see
>>this marvelous new "tasteless smoking" process in action. The Emperor,
>>being ever so proud of his discovery, proclaimed a "Day of the Magic
>>Smoke" for the following week.
>>
>>When the great day arrived, with much pageantry and heralding a parade
made
>>its way through the streets to the Palace Grounds, which had been opened
to
>>allow the throngs access to view a demonstration of the wonderful process
>>in action. As the Emperor and his train entered the viewing stand, the
sly
>>fishmongers bowed low. They explained to the wondering crowd how the
>>magical essence permeated the filter to transform the tuna quality before
>>their eyes.
>>
>>As a hush fell over the crowd, a small young girl, by name of Aura
>>Foodtechie, tugged at her mother's apron strings. "Hush child," scolded
>>the mother, but the child would not be silenced. "It's just carbon
>>monoxide, momma!" she wailed.
>>
>>Those in the crowd nearby turned their heads, startled. "It IS just
carbon
>>monoxide!" blurted a peasant, and the words quickly spread through the
>>whole collection in the courtyard. "It's carbon monoxide, it's carbon
>>monoxide, and it will obscure quality changes in the tuna!" they murmured.
>>
>>As the murmur grew to a roar, the unscrupulous fishmongers quickly bowed
to
>>the Emperor and made a hasty retreat. But the Emperor and his advisors
had
>>to face the crowd with (presumably, permanently colored) cherry red
>faces.
>>
>>Tyre C. Lanier, Professor
>>Food Science Department
>>North Carolina State University
>>Raleigh NC 27695-7624
>>Fax 919-515-7124
>>Ph. 919-513-2094
>>Web http://www.cals.ncsu.edu/food_science/faculty/lanier/tlanier.html
>>
>>
>
>
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