The Modern Musicologist

From: Jonathan Bellman (jdbellm@bentley.unco.edu)
Date: Sat Feb 03 2001 - 10:33:04 PST

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    I don't know how old this is, but this is the first I've seen it. It's a
    real gem.--JB

    ---------- Forwarded message ----------

    THE MODERN MUSICOLOGIST

    | SOLO
    | I am the very model of a modern musicologist.
    | When organizing papers I'm an excellent chronologist.
    | I choose my words quite carefully, just like a lexicologist.
    | I wrack my brain as thoroughly as any craneologist.
    |
    | I must admit that I'm a man of manifold ability.
    | A person of importance should not rest upon humility,
    | But rather learn to blow his horn at every possibility.
    | I hope that this assertion don't encounter no hostility.
    |
    | CHORUS
    | He hopes that this assertion don't encounter no hostility.
    | He hopes that this assertion don't encounter no hostility.
    |
    | SOLO
    | I've never had an interest in doing anthropology.
    | I break out in a sweat just thinking of bacteriology.
    | Oh, you can take theology, ecology, technology--
    | I am devoted solely to the art of musicology.
    |
    | CHORUS
    | Oh you can take theology, ecology, technology--
    | He is devoted solely to the art of musicology.
    |
    | SOLO
    | I love to turn up masterpieces written by nonentities.
    | It doesn't make a hoot of difference if they've no identities.
    | Some folk in other disciplines find this to be deplorable.
    | If only they would sing the tunes they'd find them most adorable.
    |
    | They only love to listen to the tunes they know by Smetana.
    | They think that music's only for the ears and not the retina.
    | They think it's just a waste of time examining old codices,
    | And then proceed to strain their eyes on Iliads and Odysseys.
    |
    | CHORUS
    | They think it's just a waste of time examining old codices,
    | And then proceed to strain their eyes on Iliads and Odysseys.
    |
    | SOLO
    | I cannot comprehend the least in matters mathematical.
    | I find the facts of chemistry completely enigmatical.
    | Oh you can keep astrology, biology, sexology--
    | My loyalty rests solely in the art of musicology.
    |
    | CHORUS
    | Oh you can keep astrology, biology, sexology--
    | His loyalty rests solely in the art of musicology.
    |
    | SOLO
    | I'm very proud to specialize in things musicological.
    | I much prefer rock music to the stuff that's geological.
    | The greatest pleasures I recieve are perfectly synonymous
    | With analyzing pieces that are written by Anonymous.
    |
    | I know that there are people who consider it iniquity
    | For me to be so occupied with music from antiquity.
    | But when I come across some old forgotten piece by Berlioz
    | I get a shiver from my eyebrows right down to my very toes.
    |
    | CHORUS
    | But when he comes across some old forgotten piece by Berlioz
    | He gets a shiver from his eyebrows right down to his very toes.
    |
    | SOLO
    | I'm very happy not to be an old numismatologist.
    | I'm sure I'd find it poison working as a toxicologist.
    | I'm not a sociologist, psychologist, zoologist--
    | I am the very model of a modern musicologist.
    |
    | CHORUS
    | He's not a sociologist, psychologist, zoologist--
    |

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
    Jonathan Bellman (970) 351-2151
    Chair, Dept. of Music History and Literature FAX: (970) 351-1923
    School of Music jdbellm@bentley.unco.edu
    College of Performing and Visual Arts
    University of Northern Colorado
    Greeley, CO 80639

    Les desleaulx ont la saison/Et des bons nessun ne tient compte,
    Mais Bon Droit de trop se mesconte/De souffrir si grant desraison.

    Je ne scais par quel achoison/Fortune ainsi hault les seurmonte...

    [Traitors now have the season, and of good no one takes notice
    But Right has greatly mis-counted in allowing such insanity.

    I do not know the cause for Fortune to raise them so high...]

            --Johannes Ockeghem, "Les Desleaulx" (15th century)



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