Dear Mr. Stephens,
I wanted to get my application off to you the instant I saw the notice of
the fantastic opportunity you are offering a person of my particular skills.
First let me point out that I consider this field a calling rooted deep in
my blood. One of my ancestors was the Papyrous Cataloguer at the Library at
Alexandria. (Not really a good position for an absent minded chain smoker.)
Another sorted books for Savanarola. (He sorted them into two piles: Burn
and Burn Along with Author.) Another, my Great-great-grandfather Dewey Ryan,
developed the first scientific methodology for deaccessing a collection 10%
at a time. This was,of course, the famous Dewey Decimation System.
My own experience to date has not been nearly so lofty. I have been
associated with a number of large libraries which were forced to downsize,
having formerly occupied one large facility with several wings. I was
responsible for pulling the wings off. I also had a brief stint as the
Client/Collection Interface Librarian at the library at the University of
Southern Labrador. Clients would ask me to retrieve a particular book from
the closed stacks and I would would tell them not to be so particular and to
please go away. I was the Labrador Non-retriever. Finally, I recently
completed a doctoral dissertation titled: "Computer Cataloguing for the 21st
Century: Infinite Possibilities for Misfiling." I would gladly send you a
copy but, unfortunately, I don't seem to be able to locate one.
All in all, I believe I am just what you are looking for in the way of a
Cancellations Librarian. I do hope you will be in touch. I can be reached
here or through my website at:
http://www.librarybooks,wedon'tneednostinkinlibrarybooks.com.
Very truly yours,
Robert S. Ryan
Frandzel & Share
6500 Wilshire Blvd, 17th Fl (near where the library used to be)
Los Angeles, CA 90048
213-852-1000,x344
rryan@primenet.com
>The Oregon Supreme Court Library anticipates a vacancy for an experienced
>Cancellations Librarian. This position is contingent on the early
>retirement of our Acqusitions Librarian, who no longer has anything to
>do, but is temperamentally unsuited to cancellations work.
>
>Qualifications: JD and MLS from accredited institutions; three years
>experience in a shrinking library. Ten years experience in debt
>collection or repossession work work may be substituted for the academic
>degrees. Must be able to deal with vendors who refuse to acknowledge that
>it is possible to cancel their products and who therefore have no
>cancellation procedures in place, as well as customer service employees
>who are recent immigrants from other planets. Position requires excellent
>communications skill, such as the ability to curse in several languages,
>as well as the ability to carry on in the midst of pointless change and
>demoralization of staff. Ruthlessness and irascibility are desirable
>traits. Must have no sentimental attachments to books or history.
>Indifference to the legal information needs of judges, lawyers, and the
>public at large a plus.
>
>The Cancellations Librarian will write and implement a new Collection
>Destruction policy. It is imperative that the unorganized destruction of
>the recent past be replaced with systematic destruction procedures as we
>move into the 21st century.
>
>Salary commensurate with qualifications, experience, and amounts
>cancelled. Excellent benefits package includes psychiatric counselling
>and outplacement when the library is destroyed.
>
>^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>Joe K. Stephens
>Law Librarian Phone: (503) 986-5640
>Oregon Supreme Court Library Fax: (503) 986-5560
>1163 State Street E-Mail: jstephen@willamette.edu
>Salem, Oregon 97310
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