I couldn't have said it better myself...
________________________________
From: owner-law-lib@ucdavis.edu [mailto:owner-law-lib@ucdavis.edu] On
Behalf Of Robert S. Ryan
Sent: Monday, August 28, 2006 2:21 PM
To: law-lib@ucdavis.edu; scall@aallnet.org
Subject: *** Detected as Spam *** Mild sort of West Rant..
Okay, I had a little time on my hands this morning...
Dear Mr. *****:
I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to compile the
meticulously crafted 3 page fax I received this morning listing the 77
items Thomson West considers to be Past Due on our account. Sorry to
have put you to the trouble, but these things happen. It's good to know
that Thomson West (or Good Old TW, as we refer to it in the trade) is
devoting at least some part of its vast profits to to improving Customer
Service by providing us with prompt notification of our errors.
I am a little curious, however - were the funds expended to develop
actual time travel or merely for developmental research, a la the CIA
back during the Cold War, in paranormal abilities? It had to be one or
the other, since 39 of the 77 items aren't due until sometime in
September, while 37 are due today. (Checked the mail yet? You faxed us
at 8:14 AM. Our mail doesn't usually arrive quite that early.) Either
you have visited the future, checked with West Accounting there to see
what we haven't paid or have gone into a trance to envision what we
won't pay in the future. Whichever it is, it must be an exciting
adventure. ( Do they let you use the process for anything less mundane
than billing issues? Or do you have to convince your bosses that, say,
William McKinley still owes Horatio West for a book he purchased back in
1901 to get permission to go back and check out the historical accuracy
of the assassination?)
The 77th item, which was supposed to have been shipped to us back in
June and was Due for payment in July, finally arrived this past Friday.
(Although to be honest, I don't think it was actually in transit for two
months, I think this is a new shipment resulting from my complaint three
weeks ago that we never received it the first time.) Unfortunately, it
is now past our cutoff date for processing payments this month, so it
will not be paid until next month, so I fully expect to be hearing from
you again with an even longer list of items we don't actually owe you
for yet.
Until then, please keep me posted on your time travling/paranormal
adventures.
Very truly yours,
Bob Ryan
Librarian
Hill Farrer & Burrill, LLP
Los Angeles
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