Can't verify the source of this, but it's interesting, no?
Chris Graesser
Anonymous Lawyer
Stories from the trenches, by a fictional hiring partner at a large law
firm in a major city.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Every month I get a piece of garbage sent to me via e-mail from the
people who charge us more than they're worth over at Lexis. I've argued
for a long time that there's no need for us to subscribe to both Lexis
and Westlaw, and the only reason it makes any sense is that we charge
our clients more than we pay for it and end up turning a profit. If we
couldn't charge it back to our clients, I'd say we should send our
associates back into the library and have them do it all by hand just
like I had an associate pick the raisins out of my raisin bran muffin
this morning because I wasn't in the mood for them. Normally I like
raisins but today I didn't want any.
Lexis sends me and every other attorney an e-mail spam newsletter every
month that I usually delete immediately, but this time I needed
something to read in the bathroom (I had my laptop with me to catch up
on some work) and scrolled through it. Sure enough, now I know. Lexis is
at least partially to blame for the incompetence all around me. In the
"associate life" section (as if associates have any reason to read
anything about them having a life!), there's a ridiculous feature on
wine appreciation. "Confused by the difference between a cabernet and a
chardonnay? Sooner or later you'll entertain a client at a nice
restaurant, or you'll be talking to a partner who knows a lot about wine
and you don't want to appear totally ignorant."
Nonsense. Associates appear totally ignorant not because they don't know
anything about wine but because they don't know anything about
practicing law. I don't care if my associates can tell the difference
between a cabernet and a chardonnay. I need them to be able to tell the
difference between a judicial holding and the dicta. Between a set of
facts we can distinguish and a set of facts we can't. Not about soave
versus pinot grigio. Give me a break.
There's even a set of 15 vocabulary words for associates to learn, so
they can talk more intelligently about wine. Like "oaky." How about
learning Latin? Or at least reading the bankruptcy code a few more
times?
At least it beats Westlaw's feature on the best places to buy sleeping
pills on the Internet without a prescription. That stuff is really
slowing down associate productivity. Can't sleep? Big deal. So don't.
#
<http://anonymouslawyer.blogspot.com/2006/07/every-month-i-get-piece-of-
garbage.html> posted by Anonymous @ 2:02 PM
<http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6664091&postID=11543808370185
8130&quickEdit=true>
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