I second the nomination, for how could one not allow for a master thespian
of this magnitude to so readily hoist his parts onto the petard (before or
after buttering the parsnips?) of jurisprudence, and accept his rightful (or
maybe leftful or just a plane leful ie spoon) place to become one with the
supremes,
Son of a Beach may have just been the first act, but this, this career will
be better than just it would actually be pro forma.....(under the black robes
of course!)
Cease the Mier, onto the muck dear friends....
In a message dated 10/7/2005 4:58:33 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,
NBrown@wendel.com writes:
I nominate Robert S. Ryan for class president, or class clown, whichever
applies. All in favor say "Aye". Three cheers for President Ryan!
-----Original Message-----
From: owner-law-lib@ucdavis.edu [mailto:owner-law-lib@ucdavis.edu] On Behalf
Of Robert S. Ryan
Sent: Friday, October 07, 2005 10:42 AM
To: law-lib@ucdavis.edu
Subject: An End to the Miers Brouhaha
All right, I've decided to put an end once and for all to the
flaming/sniping/carping over the Harriet Miers nomination. I am officially notifying the
Bush administration that Ms. Mier may withdraw her name: I am available to fill
the position.
This will be a sacrifice for me, giving up my vibrant acting career here in
Hollywood ("Son of the Beach" may now be seen in re-runs in Chile and
Finland), moving to the pestilential swamp we converted into our nation's capital,
wearing black at work every day (not my color, but the robes do allow you to
wear Hawaiian shirts and Bernuda shorts under them, the way Oliver Wendell
Holmes used to). My colleagues here at Hill, Farrell and Burrill have been
completely supportive of my taking the position, despite the burden it will place
on them, recognizing the Higher Purpose to be served. ("Go," they said to
me. "For the love of God, go.")
My credentials are impeccable and acceptable to both Right and Left.
Hardline, Born Again Christian Conservatives and Warren Beatty alike will unite in
supporting my nomination. While I have never articulated a stance as Pro-Life,
I have several times come out as Pro-Newsweek and even Pro-Forma. I devoutly
believe that Life Begins at Forty and that abortion should only be permitted
after that point if the mother's life is endangered. My trial track record
is exemplary (The charge was Mopery in the Third Degree. I was found Not
Guilty.) I have a distinguished judicial history - four times deciding the Motion
Picture Retirement Home's Robert Downey Jr. Senior Beauty Pageant without
controversy.
I did not seek this high office. As Shakespeare said, some are born great,
some acquire greatness and some have greatness shoved up their...well, I
forget the exact quotation, but it's something like that. I will accept the
position with deep humility, for I, indeed, have much to be humble about. I take
this step, as I take all steps, with eyes wide shut and a deep conviction that
I can't possibly do any worse than the next guy (assuming the next guy isn't
John Marshall, Thurgood Marshall, William Howard Taft, Earl Warren, Robert
Jackson, William Rehnquist, Harry Blackmun, Hugo Black, etc, etc. ...or Oliver
Wendell Holmes, with or without Bermuda shorts).
If nominated I will accept, if confirmed I will serve, if serve is returned,
I will volley until I have made my point, deuce, one-love, game, match.
So let us cease being Miered in this morass of petty bickering. I am ready
to assume the mantle, run the gauntlet, butter the parsnips and generally
hoist myself on the petard of juridical controvery.
Now let's get back to ILLs.
Bob Ryan
Hill, Farrer & Burrill
Los ANgeles
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